It’s funny how you can be completely ok around someone, but shivering with anxiety around someone else. All because you want their approval. Maybe you logically tell yourself (in the most sassy voice you can muster) that you a grown-ass man and don’t need no one’s approval.
But your discomfort betrays you. It’s often not as simple as just wanting to be approved of. That’s the surface level. There’s always a REASON why you want it, and the reason is always the same at the core… Before I figured out how to clear this feeling, any time I had a job I was always on my best behaviour around all my colleagues — but particularly my managers. I heavily micromanaged my self-expression and I constantly made especially strong efforts to avoid talking to these people unless it was absolutely necessary.
I would freak out anytime they even looked me in the eyes or asked me to do something. WHY did I feel this way? Because I was afraid of losing my job. In looking at these feelings more closely one might think they’re a little ridiculous. They’d logically and rightly think “so what if they disapprove of me? I’ll just get another job if I lose this one. There are plenty of jobs, and I’ve had jobs before. I should feel fine about this...”
But a drop of logic isn’t enough to sway an ocean of evolution. Your programming has been shaped over millennia, and it won’t change on a whim... Managers, supervisors, anyone you even FEEL has a say in whether you keep your job or not — you fear interacting with.
Ok, so WHY are you even afraid of losing your job? It’s only very recent in our evolution as humans that we started comfortably considering ourselves “top of the food chain.” Our early ancestors had a far tougher time than us. They would live as part of small tribes. Merely surviving was a daily concern, as being eaten by a hungry predator was a very real and regular threat. It was your tribe, your family, that brought you some semblance of security amongst all this danger. It was safety in numbers, and you had a far greater chance of fighting off a tiger if your tribe had your back.
And it was in your best interest to cooperate in the tribe. To respect all, especially the leaders. To be of USE. Because if you weren’t, you might be considered dead weight. You might cross the wrong people and be ejected out of your security and into the wilderness where you’re easy prey… In these moments when you’re feeling anxiety around others in your workplace, you feel this way because you’re afraid of being kicked out of the tribe.
You’re afraid of being left to fend for yourself in the wilderness, alone — where you would surely perish. You’re afraid you’re going to die. And it’s absolutely absurd. In this day and age we KNOW this programming DOES NOT SERVE US.
Yet millions of people around the world chronically feel this way. Every. Single. Day. And you, like them, feel like you can’t do a damn thing to stop it. But you can. I did. It took years of trial and error, but I solved it. I read books, bought courses, attended seminars and worked with coaches.
I STRETCHED myself beyond what I thought was possible. I approached the problem from every possible angle and threw thousands of hours of action at the wall… Until something STUCK. And on the other side of it I'm proud to say that I'm free from all that pain.
Emotional releasing. It's not another "treatment" — it's a freakin' CURE. Message me if you want to learn more about these techniques. Always happy to point you in the right direction. Either way you should probably send me a message even just to tell me how much you liked this post.
I get a nice little ego kick out of having my inbox fill up with compliments…