Updated: Nov 30, 2019
Day 14 - Thursday
I started a gratitude journal 13 days ago after reading one thousand gifts. It’s not a favorite read of mine. I actually would not even recommend reading past the first chapter or two, but I learned some great lessons from it. Being grateful takes practice. I remember telling my friend not too long ago that I feel like I am the most ungrateful person I know. I have a great life. I know it. But I find that I’m stopping myself from actually being able to enjoy life. A lot of times I tell myself that surely someone else deserves what I have because they will appreciate it more. I recently read a blog about act of receiving that made me realize that I have a real problem in receiving. From people. From life. Knowing is half the battle.
I recognize the things I should be thankful for and then journal them, but sometimes there’s a disconnect. Sometimes I still feel so undeserving. When someone gives me a gift, rather than being thankful, my first instinct is to think inwardly. I immediately tell myself that I’m not as thoughtful, so therefore I don’t deserve gifts like this. I set a bar for myself that I rarely can reach. There’s definitely something flawed in the way I think that needs to change. I hope that my heart will eventually catch up to my head. I’m learning to be more grateful one baby step at a time.
Often I forget to be grateful for the nice character traits I have. An inner voice always seems to win the battles by criticizing me, but today I decided to let my Heart win. Here's a Gratitude Note from my Heart to Myself ;): --- I'm grateful for my sense of humor, for my warm personality and big smile. I am kind and sweet, and I treat people with respect, politeness and I always (try to) listen to what they have to say. I'm grateful for having found the strength to cope with some difficult times in life, how I found wisdom in them and grew from them.
People often say I am wise beyond my years, and I think it was both because of the way I see the world (and think about it), and because of what my life taught me. I like that I'm always in for a challenge, because that's how I've lived some amazing adventures. I'm open to new people, easily making friends across borders and ages. I'm glad I always give it all, at work, in friendships and love. I wouldn't want to be anyone else in my life, because that would mean I would've never met any fantastic friends. I would've missed out on the warmth of my personality, and therefore missing other generous and loving people in my life. And I would have been more scared to take on a new challenge, whereas now I usually find the strength to give it a shot.
Today, I am taking some time to reflect on friendships. Good friends are hard to come by. Especially ones that you can be vulnerable with and let all your skeletons escape from your closet. Ones that will love you despite your shortcomings. Ones that will tell you the truth even if it hurts. I’m grateful that I have a few people in my life like that. I’m so thankful for knowing new friend. I’m thankful for that friend and for being in my life out of no where. I’m thankful for how she reflects me in a way that I couldn't imagine of. I’m always surprised and appreciative of people who want to stay in touch with me long distance. I'm grateful for that friendship.